I’m not really sure if this is the best place to voice these opinions and concerns. And I’m not really sure if it’s my place to be voicing them at all. This whole topic isn’t easy for me to discuss (it’s very personal) but…
READ THIS. Thank you. Also, did not know BDSM was illegal in the states (really???). Silly Canadian running around thinking everything’s sane/cool.
it’s a state-by-state, county-by-county thing. I know in Mass it’s p. much illegal to host a BDSM event at a “venue”, so ppl have house parties. In NYS it’s generally ok, but no sex or nudity at places that sell alcohol or are publicly accessible, which is why all sex parties are pre-registered events and BYOB. There are several known but I wouldn’t recommend promoters in NYC who have regular public play parties, remember a year ago it was publicly acknowledged an fetlife that there are cops-on-duty at many of these parties [plain clothes and dubious as to professionalism was claimed], and that, if BDSM was flat-out illegal, ALLLL the lawyers and law students in the NYC scene would be much less worried about where their handstamps are placed and that they’ve declined photo ops.
A lot of the legal presadent basically say that in the US court of law, they cannot ensure that you consented to getting tied up or beaten or cut open or yelled at and called names and kept in shackles and made to crawl around the house while cleaning and eat off the floor— the court can’t rely on verbal agreements and non-legally binding contracts to prove consent. Certain states have written it that all these activities are illegal, but most have no specific laws against it, just highly biased courts. [I’m no lawyer, but this is the jist from 10 years sifting thru this info & last 3 years of being active in the community, which I’m not any more due to burn out and general loathing.]
Also I REALLY have to take exception to some later bits of this—in the US, like everywhere, but very prominently US v UK, the local community may vary greatly. In NYC, mentors? Fuah, y’gotta be kidding. There’s classes and there’s leather communities, but being new in the NYC scene is relatively hands-off and most of your welcoming committee will be 1/2 people to avoid, 1/4th people who are only tediously interested in befriending you, and 1/4th ppl who are friendly and want to legit help you and have a good time. And most of them are pretty new, too. Other communities may be very insular and not accepting of how you do your kink; while others are more accepting of everyone. Not everyone wants to mentor you, the ones who immediately do are to be suspect, and most of the time ppl’s hands are tied as to tell you who to avoid, you’r a noob and you see on the listings “oh the NYC Fetish Horde is hosting a party at RedSilk Lounge I think I’ll go!” and your not a total noob so you go to the munch before to meet people but ahhh, everyone’s going to this party and basically it’s the Fetish Horde friends & apologizes club and they won’t tell you that the guy running it sells LSD and ignores ppl who’ve had their drink drugged and all his buddies have been accused of raping or narrowly raping somebody! you only learn this after controversy happens and ppl’s posts get removed on kinkyliving-dot-org for speaking up about it!
Honestly I have no clue about this Philidelphia incident but it’s NOT uncommon in the kink community. It’s VERY COMMON, despite all the sexpos publications in the last 20 years trying to teach people how to negotiate and realistically achieve their desires. It doesn’t matter how many times you read the new topping/bottoming book or BDSM 101 this can still happen. Truth it happens more easily to people who don’t have access to those books, just The Story or O, The Novels of GOR, most any-even-kink-approved-kinky-erotic fiction of which 50 Shades is just one more notch in the belt of…..because kink fantasy IS dark, depraved, weird, and socially unacceptable, but kink reality means looking at these desires and figuring out what to do with them in a manner where everything is agreed on and no one is scarred for life, at least not without accepting that risk fully.
Unfortunately, we don’t live in a kink-positive world. Our pop!kink school teaches us that BDSM IS rape, it is torture, and you’re sick in the head to want it, even if you say “no” you still want it and deserve it. Our BDSM legit school is a subcultural knowledge passed down thru hard-to-find books [I’ve tried, they’re not in your Barnes N Nobel] and rapidly aging alt.net & web 1.0 sites. web 2.0 sites are hook-up sites at worst, hard to find blogs and facebooky websites at best, and even then for every blog or post you find, there will be 20 disagreeing with it.
Short, people just don’t have access to this info, they just have access to the fantasy. Call 50 Shades poorly written, but it’s noting new. When was Story of theEye or 120 Days or Sodom published? But while I can find de Sade in most bookstores, why can’t I find Dossie Easton? Ppl say a lot about how the BDSM community “isn’t like the fantasy”, and ppl try, but more ppl get hurt anyways because they don’t have access to the reading or community, and even the community it’s self is not without it’s creeps and abusers.
Agents monitored his calls. They followed him across the country. They became particularly alarmed when they learned he had purchased large quantities of hydrogen peroxide, a hair dye.
Almost three years later and 15 miles away, James Eagan Holmes was filling his home with armament. He had regular deliveries of ammunition for a military-style AR-15 rifle, two handguns and a shotgun he purchased over the course of 60 days. There were about 6,000 rounds in all, another 300 shotgun shells and a high-capacity drum for the rifle. In all, it amounted to more than 200 pounds of ordnance.
All of it legal. None of it, apparently, noticed by or reported to police. None of it the slightest bit disconcerting to ammunition suppliers, delivery drivers or neighbors.
A transgender man in Boise, Idaho, has been arrested for stabbing another man several times. According to the Idaho Statesman, Jayce McClerkin is being held in the Ada County Jail on a felony charge of aggravated battery after Boise police responded to a 911 call on Saturday. Witnesses told investigators that McClerkin and the victim were arguing when the alleged stabbing occured. Stephanie Ebmeyer, a friend of McClerkin, told the Idaho Statesman that McClerkin had been harassed by the alleged victim several times in the past “over gender issues,” and that harassment continued early Saturday morning. She also told reporters that McClerkin was defending himself during the argument.
Officials told the Statesman (which is using female pronouns and McClerkin’s birth name) that McClerkin was being housed away from the general population, while awaiting his Aug. 6 hearing. Boise police issued a statement saying the case was still being investigated.
There is some indication that McClerkin will claim self-defense. What remains to be seen is whether LGBT activists will rally around McClerkin case as they did around another transgender person who was in a similar situation. CeCe McDonald’s case got worldwide attention after the trans woman was arrested for second degree murder, after a man was stabbed in an incident she said was self-defense. McDonald eventually took a plea deal for second degree manslaughter and is surving 41 months in prison, but many activists are still pressing to get her case appealed.
If McClerkin is found guilty of aggravated battery, he faces up to 15 years in prison.
lots of really long posts that I think are pretty fucking reasonable or vent some pretty important to me things, but I feel like I can’t post without loosing followers or making the SJ Attack Mob come after me.
“There’s a German word for it, of course: Sehnsucht, which translates as “addictive yearning.” This is, I think, what these sites evoke: the feeling of being addicted to longing for something; specifically being addicted to the feeling that something is missing or incomplete. The point is not the thing that is being longed for, but the feeling of longing for the thing. And that feeling is necessarily ambivalent, combining both positive and negative emotions.”—Pinterest, Tumblr and the Trouble With ‘Curation’ - NYTimes.com (via thisistheverge)
this is one of the things that I actually don’t do. it all just builds it’s self up on it’s own. the more i draw, the more i find out about the rest of the world and who the characters are. Minimally, I set limitations on what can and can’t happen in a story, e.g. “Okay, nothing paranormal happens in this story.” or “I want to have gay knights so actually let’s have an alt-U medieval scenario w/o jesus.” or “this story is like a cartoon so SD and slapstick can happen/this story is like a live action TV show so the characters must maintain a certain bodily integrity…” after that, It’s just going with what feels natural, winding up the little “character bots” and letting them bump around the sandbox.
which prbably explains my turtle-pace, I want characters and worlds to develop organically, I can’t force it. So a lot of my “writing” is introducing scenarios and waiting for the characters to react to them; and sometimes if it doesn’t make the direction of the overall plot, I have to tweak it. Like in Spooky Service, I’m trying to figure out what will make X go to Miriam’s shop and meet her and Efir, I know the information has tocome from Sebastian, but what prompts the whole thing? So far, the other plot, with the band and all, hasn’t given me a good string to follow. So i have to let it stew longer.
i originally thought up these questions for writers, but then i realized that they can really apply to anything - artists, composers, whatever. idk about you guys but i love to talk about my process so yeah
red: is it hard for you to think up new ideas? list three of your biggest influences.
orange: what do you do when you’re inspired? do you scream eureka, write the idea down in a notebook, what?
yellow: what do you do when you’re stuck in a block? list three sources of inspiration when new ideas are scarce.
green: how do you flesh out an idea? does it take a long time, do you mull over it for hours, or does it come easily? describe the process!
blue: depending on your form of art, what are some of your favorite ways to characterize, add detail, design, establish a settling, or otherwise elaborate on the piece? are you fond of world-building, or does that pose a problem for you? (customize this question if you’re an artist or otherwise)
indigo: picture of your workspace!
violet: describe your work habits. do you eat? do you need music? are you messy or organized? do you keep a notebook? how long can you work at a time? etc.
silver: what’s the hardest part of a piece for you? (plot, background, etc)
gold: the easiest?
black: what is your least favorite part of the creative process?
white: your favorite?
rainbow: do you believe in true originality?
brown: what does it take for you to honestly be proud of something?
pink: what is the most rewarding part of being a writer, artist, etc?
magenta: what drives you the most insANE?
OK imma do dis, but if i get no asks i will prbly go LJ style on this—seriously why does no one do that anymore? GIVING UNREQUESTED INFO TOO GOO FOR YOU??
“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”
“Something that worked for me was imagining that where I wanted to be – an author, primarily of fiction, making good books, making good comics and supporting myself through my words – was a mountain. A distant mountain. My goal. … And I knew that as long as I kept walking towards the mountain I would be all right. And when I truly was not sure what to do, I could stop, and think about whether it was taking me towards or away from the mountain.”—Neil Gaiman (via clitorisesandsnorlaxes)